Open letter to Matt de Ferranti and your new N. Arl multi-million dollar single family home

Dear Matt, 

Congratulations on buying your first single-family house in North Arlington! I was super thrilled that you chose to buy a single-family house, but whew, $1.75M?! I can’t swing that — but I see that the house next to yours is assessed for only $894k  and the one across the street is assessed at $1.14M – these, I can do.

Now

I’m super excited about the missing middle because it is so expensive to purchase in North Arlington, that I will build an eight Plex on each side of your new home. I do believe that if you change the policy and only make duplexes on both sides of you I still will be able to make the mortgage payment by only having three other people helping to pay it. I figure that I can either rent out the three other units at around $2800 each per month or based on comps, I could sell them for $1.2-1.4 million each. 

I love the fact that I won’t have to take care of a yard because I can actually build quite a bit more aggressively on the lot and there doesn’t seem to be a height limit. What do you think? 

A vision

But I really need you to get the 8 plex in…. It improves my profit margin by 4x. I don’t see any architectural guidelines so I am going to go a bit basic and try to improve that margin to 5x. Like it?! It will be so easy for people to find your house, too! A true landmark in the making. 

Missing Middle Paradise

I also really appreciate that I don’t have to build any additional garage space but I am wondering if you’re gonna let me park in front of your house because we’re gonna have to have somewhere between eight and 32 additional cars right in front of our homes. 

I hear that North Arlington are the best and there’s plenty of room in them. That will definitely be appealing to young families who are willing to sacrifice a yard to get their kids in the best schools. 

Hurry up and get this missing middle policy adjusted. I can’t wait to be neighbors.

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